What I Have Lost

My husband.  The one who was my best friend at one time, and my lifelong companion.  Due to his illness I was slowly loosing him over the last 8 years.  I might have see thins coming except that in the last few years every minute of my spare time was dedicated to keeping things upright and afloat.  The usual  cooking, cleaning, errands, bills.  Coordinating doctors appointments, medications, home treatments.  Trying to find food, or entertainment or any kind of thing he showed any interest in to keep him engaged and bring him some happiness.

“Sorry for your loss.”

I am no longer anyone’s wife.

Nor am I the sole source of care for a very ill man, one who bears little resemblance to the man I married.

There is the loss of hope of every seeing K. get better.

No chance to repair the rifts in our relationship and family.

“Well you must feel some relief to have all that lifted from you.”

Yes. I can breathe a little.  Maybe figure out who I am.  Become a real person again with a voice. But I still had my heart broken.  It still hurts that he is gone.

One thought on “What I Have Lost

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