It’s now been three months and 20 days since the great divide between Before and After. Most days I am saying a silent goodbye to some small aspect of what my life was, or things we did together. If I am honest with myself this I can see that this has been more of a long goodbye lasting years. There was a goodbye to the carefree younger days that ended with the onset of chronic pain. Goodbye to the man I once knew who was kind and fun-loving. Goodbye to days without the worry of illness and depression. Goodbye the last time I saw him alive.
I recently traveled to be with the family so we could be together for K.’s celebration of life service. Everyone came to the old family homestead. Various family had set up tables and chairs. Sisters brought coffee, cookies, punch and sunflowers. We shared stories and photos and remembered what an amazing and wonderful man he had been.
We brought his ashes down to his favorite camping and fishing spot. A place he used to go with his best friend, or his dog. A place he went to when he ran away from home as a boy. By the river and between the mountains and said goodbye for the last time.