So, my son and I were flying back for the celebration of life service for my husband. I had him (his ashes) in the carefully selected rosewood box in my carry on, despite my initial threats to recklessly entrust him to the baggage handlers (see Box, Paper, Zingers post). I was dutifully in possession of the appropriate paperwork for transport of human cremains issued to me by the crematorium.
When we used to travel as a family, particularly when our son was little, going through security, we would unload, de-shoe and then I would send small boy through first. I would then go through, corral small boy and then look back for….where’d he go? My husband vanished again, no where to be seen. Pulled out of line by security for a pat-down or metal detector ‘wanding’. This happened consistently when we travelled. I guess security thought he looked dangerous.
We entered the airport and proceeded with the other travelers to security. Bags on conveyor. Shoes off, placed in bin next to laptop. Liquids and tote bag in another bin. Step here. Arms up. Okay, come through and then “Who’s bag is this?” Uh-oh that’s my bag. “What are you carrying Ma’am?” “My husband’s ashes.” “I have to do a special screening on this.” Seriously! Pulled out of line again! I was cracking up. My usually reserved son even showed an upturned corner of the lip indicating that he was having his own private laugh.
We had a connecting flight in New York. We were a little late landing due to air traffic, and little time to spare. We checked the departure board and headed off to our next gate which fortunately, was not far off. However, we had to go from one concourse to the next and….wait for it…through security again. And you guessed it, pulled out of line again for special screening. I’m checking my watch and thinking “if he makes us late for our connection, I will NOT be happy.”
We got to our gate as they were boarding. Fortunately we were in the economy class, you know the one rated just above cargo, the kind where you board after the first class, business class, people with small children, frequent flyers and virtually everyone else. As we were bringing up the end of the line one of the crew announced “Ladies and gentleman, we have a very full flight and all the overhead bins are now full. Everyone else will have to gate check their bags.” To the baggage handler’s with you, my dear! Score 3 points for the dead guy: 2 for pulling off the same monkey business twice, and 1 point for style. Score 1 point for the widow and as a bonus, the last laugh.