Common wisdom in the grief world says that the first year is the worst. That you'll feel most keenly on the birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays and after that first year you’ve past a milestone. True to form I seem to be out-of-kilter with anything common or wise. My birthday came and went a mere 48 … Continue reading The Firsts
Okay, to cover all the basics: Yes, I am eating. I am sleeping- sort of. I'm tired but I have trouble settling down to sleep. I wake up during the night and watch episodes of "The Good Place", then repeat the cycle until about 6am. I've been an early riser for years and so is … Continue reading Venturing out of the safe zone
I headed out to the funeral home today unsure of what to expect. When I emerged from my thoughts I realized that I didn't recognize where I was. I backtracked a few turns and made it to my destination. My internal sense of direction is gone. I used to just know which way to go. … Continue reading Box, paper, zingers
Day two of After: Just call me personal assistant to the newly dead. Phone calls have to be made to Social Security, and the funeral director. Paperwork submitted to health insurance, and life insurance. Thank goodness for the help of a level headed friend or I wouldn't have thought of all of this. I am … Continue reading Did I really just say that?
March 10, 2019 was day one of my new life. So what did I do? Make coffee, walk the dog, watched endless episodes of Downton Abbey. I cried. cancelled K.'s cell phone line, and cancelled his upcoming doctor's appointments. Due to his illness we had spent a lot of time going to doctors, dealing with … Continue reading Day One: After, what do you do?
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton The journey begins on the last day. March 9, 2019, the day my husband died. K., my husband of 22 years was at home alone that morning. He'd suffered for years with both chronic pain and Bipolar. Those … Continue reading The Journey Begins