Some time ago I came across a show TV about Kintsugi. Kintsugi is a Japanese art form that is traditionally used to repair broken ceramics, or pottery with gold or silver, and lacquer. The broken items are mended in such a way that the cracks still show, but they have now become a beautiful part … Continue reading My Broken Heart
It's now been three months and 20 days since the great divide between Before and After. Most days I am saying a silent goodbye to some small aspect of what my life was, or things we did together. If I am honest with myself this I can see that this has been more of a … Continue reading The Final Goodbye
My husband. The one who was my best friend at one time, and my lifelong companion. Due to his illness I was slowly loosing him over the last 8 years. I might have see thins coming except that in the last few years every minute of my spare time was dedicated to keeping things upright … Continue reading What I Have Lost
There are several theories on the stages of grief but it all seems too contained and well-defined. Although some are shared with the caveat that the stages might not be experienced in order, it still makes me irritated to read them. I want to have stages. Stages are neat, tidy, with squared edges. They have … Continue reading The Alien Blob
Okay, to cover all the basics: Yes, I am eating. I am sleeping- sort of. I'm tired but I have trouble settling down to sleep. I wake up during the night and watch episodes of "The Good Place", then repeat the cycle until about 6am. I've been an early riser for years and so is … Continue reading Venturing out of the safe zone
I headed out to the funeral home today unsure of what to expect. When I emerged from my thoughts I realized that I didn't recognize where I was. I backtracked a few turns and made it to my destination. My internal sense of direction is gone. I used to just know which way to go. … Continue reading Box, paper, zingers
March 10, 2019 was day one of my new life. So what did I do? Make coffee, walk the dog, watched endless episodes of Downton Abbey. I cried. cancelled K.'s cell phone line, and cancelled his upcoming doctor's appointments. Due to his illness we had spent a lot of time going to doctors, dealing with … Continue reading Day One: After, what do you do?