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A Journey Through Grief and Beyond

The way you grieve is unique to you. There is no “right” way or particular steps or order. Grief is a journey you live not something you do and then move on from. Join me on this journey and we will do it together.

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Tag: widow

Upside Down and Inside Out

I've been thinking a lot about how the world, in light of COVID-19 has been flipped upside down. The movers and shakers have been immobilized. The powerful and the popular pushed aside. If you have been on social media at all you know that the extroverts feel they have been thrown into a desert with … Continue reading Upside Down and Inside Out →

jillb4nafter Grief 1 Comment April 26, 2020 2 Minutes

The Salt Shaker and the Can Opener

Have you ever said "boy I wish I could use a can opener on his head and see what is inside?" I have often thought that about my son, because I find him fascinating and engaging when I can get him talking about the things that he knows and enjoys. I think that if we … Continue reading The Salt Shaker and the Can Opener →

jillb4nafter Grief Leave a comment March 11, 2020 2 Minutes

To Feel Or Not To Feel-That Is The Tension

I've really been struggling this week. All my life I have been taught that it is important to be kind, and loving and forgiving. To get rid of "negative" emotions. Fake it till you make it. Be a good girl, wife, mother, worker. Be humble, put others before yourself. That all worked pretty well until … Continue reading To Feel Or Not To Feel-That Is The Tension →

jillb4nafter Grief 4 Comments October 19, 2019October 19, 2019 3 Minutes

Yin Yoga and the Blessing

I decided early this morning to sign up for a Yin yoga and meditation class.  I'd never done this kind of yoga before, so I didn't know what to expect. When I got in the studio, it was fairly dark, and quite warm. I hadn't realized this was going to be a hot yoga class. … Continue reading Yin Yoga and the Blessing →

jillb4nafter Grief 1 Comment October 3, 2019October 3, 2019 3 Minutes

Open Heart, Open Body, Open Life

 In the last few years I had stopped expressing my deepest emotions, hopes and dreams. I even stopped journaling. My life was so entwined with my husband, that in some ways there was just no room for me. K. had very strong personal boundaries and views on what he wanted to share with other people, … Continue reading Open Heart, Open Body, Open Life →

jillb4nafter Grief 1 Comment August 27, 2019 4 Minutes

Moving Forward

Before my husband died we were in the process of selling our home.  When he died, I called the realtor and put everything on hold until I could breathe and put together two coherent thoughts.  Did I want to stay here?  We'd lived here for the last 13 years.  That's a lot of time and … Continue reading Moving Forward →

jillb4nafter Grief Leave a comment July 4, 2019 2 Minutes

How Do I Answer That?

When you see someone whether casually in passing or an old friend it is tossed out there like an obligatory nicety. "How are you?" Of course, we all know that "Fine thank you, and you?" is the polite and expected response.   On occasion I have thought to myself how ridiculous this is and that on … Continue reading How Do I Answer That? →

jillb4nafter Grief 4 Comments July 4, 2019 2 Minutes

The Final Goodbye

It's now been three months and 20 days since the great divide between Before and After. Most days I am saying a silent goodbye to some small aspect of what my life was, or things we did together. If I am honest with myself this I can see that this has been more of a … Continue reading The Final Goodbye →

jillb4nafter Grief Leave a comment June 29, 2019 1 Minute

Box, paper, zingers

I headed out to the funeral home today unsure of what to expect. When I emerged from my thoughts I realized that I didn't recognize where I was. I backtracked a few turns and made it to my destination. My internal sense of direction is gone. I used to just know which way to go. … Continue reading Box, paper, zingers →

jillb4nafter Uncategorized 1 Comment June 6, 2019June 14, 2019 2 Minutes
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